I'll be honest with you.
These past few months have been some the most expansive, but also among the most challenging in my business in a long time.
After hitting my biggest months yet between March and October last year, an old pattern of mine resurfaced seemingly out of nowhere:
I had reached a financial goal I had been working towards for quite some time, everything was going fabulously well, and boom—all of a sudden, my passion for my business was GONE.
I was loving the work I was doing with my clients 1:1, but at the same time, I was feeling utterly uninspired in my marketing, I felt as though I had lost my voice, and I had no idea what I wanted to do moving forward.
I literally went into an identity crisis, no longer knowing who I was or what my purpose was in this world.
Over these past few months, I've spent a lot of time soul searching, diving DEEP, learning to feel myself again, retrieving lost treasures, parts of myself I had cut off in order to please others, to fit in, to avoid stepping into my power.
I've also let go of parts of my life and business that were no longer feeling aligned, which has been liberating in many ways, but also an emotionally intense process of grieving and mourning for what had become familiar.
And to be honest, I'm still healing, still feeling vulnerable, still a little terrified of what I know is about to come.
What I do know is this: I'm ready for a fresh start.
Ready to let the past be the past. Ready to claim what I've denied myself for so long. Ready to walk forward in spite of not knowing how EXACTLY my path will unfold from here. Ready to embrace this gift of LIFE, now, not sometime in an imaginary future.
Ready to drop the masks, value myself as I am, and change the world by being who I really am—not somebody else's version of success, happiness, fulfillment.
This past month, I've been following my inner nudges to totally and completely makeover my website, in spite of being told by my biz coach that now wasn't a good time to focus on that ;), liberating myself piece by piece, not giving in until I could really feel and see the CORE essence of me, what I truly want to do and who I really want to be moving forward.
And let me tell you, it was everything but easy (even though I certainly enjoyed the creative aspect, as always)! Especially over the past couple weeks, I've had to face my deepest shame and pain, everything inside of me that was telling me that who I really am is totally unacceptable, that I'll be shunned for showing my true face to the world, for claiming my worth and power, and especially for embracing my calling as a spiritual teacher.
I've cried buckets, been paralyzed by panic, doubted myself, and felt tempted to change directions more times than I can count.
But each time, I found the way back to myself, found another part of me, and finally, here I am! Feeling as healed, whole, and complete as I haven't in a very long time.
And even though I'm still a little scared, and even though not everything is completely perfect yet, here I am, finally hitting that live button today, ready for what's about to unfold from here!
Feeling the liberation.
Feeling the freedom.
Ready for new adventures!
I'm not gonna let those fears stop me anymore!