Positive Focus vs. Spiritual Bypassing

I wrote a post yesterday that initiated a lively discussion. Since this is a topic that's been coming up a LOT in my community lately, I thought I'd expand on it a bit more today.

What I'm talking about is bridging the gap between applying spiritual laws such as the law of attraction, keeping a positive focus, etc., and embracing the human experience in its fullness, allowing ourselves to express ourselves authentically and stand in our truth no matter what we're currently going through.

The guidance I've often been getting for myself lately is to spend more time celebrating the joy in my life, as well as to share it openly with my community, in my 1:1 coaching, in my marketing, and in my private social media posts.

And I can tell you this: Spending less time digging in the shadows, doing mindset and healing work, and focusing on clearing "blocks", has been highly transformational in so many ways.

Focusing mainly on the things I desire to create in my life, celebrating my successes and the things I'm grateful for, and simply allowing the journey to unfold with 100% faith and trust in the process has brought about amazing manifestations, rapid forward movement in my life and business, as well as a lightness and inspired flow that has made the entire journey so much more effortless.

Nonetheless, I'm still human, and at times, especially when there's a lot going on in the world—and when I'm growing and up-leveling rapidly, I still have my moments of overwhelming emotional intensity, anxiety, and even bouts of depression, too.

I was hesitating to share this part of my journey at first after a wild roller coaster ride I went through last week, but my inner guidance was very clear that it was time to stop hiding and be more open about the ups and downs of my experience, knowing that I was certainly not the only one, and that sharing what I was going through would open up space for more genuine and authentic connection, as well as help others understand their own personal healing process more deeply.

Showing up more authentically as myself has been a theme for me this year in general. Much of my recent journey has been about embracing my light more fully, sharing my wisdom more freely, but also speaking my truth more openly in all areas of my life, including in my business and personal relationships.

I'm happy to say that most of the time, I don't give much of a 💩 anymore about how people might respond to what I share. Which has freed up a lot of energy and allowed me to focus more fully on the things that matter most in life and business—without constantly being under the extreme amount of stress I sometimes experienced in the past when breaking through my visibility edges.

Nonetheless, it's been interesting to observe the triggers that do come up at times.

When I was focusing more on the fun part of my journey and sharing my joy (which was completely genuine, by the way), I sometimes got triggered by posts written by people who were criticizing others for only sharing the good stuff, encouraging them to "be more authentic" and share more of their 💩-y moments.

On the other hand, I was recently criticized for being too negative and choosing language that wasn't focusing on the positive (basically reminding me that through the law of attraction we create what we focus on).

This resulted in a lively discussion that, even though it remained 100% respectful, evoked a feeling of being gaslit, which means being talked out of the reality of my emotional experience in a manipulative way (which I know wasn't this person's intention—it was more of a flashback of a past memory).

Even though I absolutely believe in the power of positive thinking and focus, I've also seen what happens when we use spiritual tools to bypass our human experience, or when our emotional truth is dismissed as invalid by ourselves and others.

Most of us actually experienced this to a certain degree as children when the people around us (often meaning well) encouraged us to stop being angry, not be sad, etc. Which is one of the core dynamics that can cause us to lose touch with our inner guidance and intuitive wisdom later in life (and one of the core dynamics of self-sabotage in times of growth and expansion—if you're a business owner, chances are you'll know exactly what I mean).

Other times in my life, I've had people try to talk me out of my truth in more manipulative ways. In the past, I allowed my partners to talk me into distrusting myself when I sensed that something was off in the relationship, or, I've had people in the spiritual community criticize me for "not knowing my 💩" when addressing an issue in a more practical, down-to-earth sense.

And, there was a time when I was forced to face my own shadows after focusing mostly on the higher consciousness aspects of manifesting for a while, which, even though true, created extreme amounts of contrast in my human experience, leading to an intensity of suffering I wouldn't wish on anyone.

And which I do want to say, is also an experience I'm immensely grateful for, because it has taught me so much.

There was a time when fully embracing my humanness was the most liberating thing I could do for myself, and was exactly what I needed to reclaim my power as the creator of my own life.

Long story short: You know what is true for you! Giving yourself permission to express yourself authentically, in a way that feels good to you in this moment, no matter what other people (or some spiritual rule book) may say, is a crucial part of becoming truly free as the creator of your own destiny.

Once you understand that, everything truly becomes possible!